Sunday, June 1, 2014


Name: V.
Years in Girl Scouting: 12 years
Roles in Girl Scouting: girl member, Girl Scout camp staff member
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

When I was a freshman in high school, a girl named C. said she liked me.  She was a junior.  We kissed in her friend’s bedroom, and that was the first time I thought I was gay.  
We had a short-term, three-month relationship, but in high school, it feels like forever.

I had kissed boys before kissing C.  I guess my first kiss was exciting. It was in Paris.  
We were on a People to People three-week European trip.  His name was J., his birthday was the day before mine, and he had red hair.  The first time I kissed him, it wasn’t just one was a lot of making out.

Anyway, C. was my first love.  Physical attraction was part of it.  She wore JNCO Jeans.  I still remember the first date we first kissed: December 16, 1997.  As we were kissing, I kept thinking, “Is this really happening?  Am I nuts?

I broke up with C. because I kissed another girl, a junior named K.  She was on the soccer team with me.  She tasted like watermelons.

The first openly gay person I was exposed to was Z.  We worked together as staff members at Girl Scout summer camp.  While we were sitting in the dining hall, she asked me if I had anything in common with the rainbow beach towel that was in some nearby cubbies.  I was like, “What?  I guess….”  Z. said, “I have something in common with that towel, too.”

Z. also had an Equality bumper sticker on her Jeep Wrangler, which was significant because I also had a Jeep Wrangler.

I have so many coming out stories.  I’ll just describe the one where I told my dad.  I was twenty, a sophomore in college.  It was Christmas night and I was the designated driver.  My dad had a couple of drinks at dinner and I drove us home.  We were at the stop sign two turns away from our house and I just blurted out, “Dad, I think I’m gay.”  I said it as fast as I could.

His response was a little drowsy, but he said, “I figured.”  And that was it.

[That was really the second time we talked about me being gay.  The topic came up when I was a freshman in high school, too.  My dad picked me up from school and cornered me in the car.  He said, “Your step-sister told your step-mother that she heard a rumor about you.”

I sat in the car seat, with freezing-cold hands from soccer practice, in a panic.

My dad then said, “Your step-sister said that she heard you were dating a girl.” (I was dating girl.)

Then my dad said that he loved me no matter what, no matter whom I dated. We didn’t talk about it again until that Christmas evening five years later.]

After I came out, I guess that I stopped avoiding questions about my sexuality.  Before I came out, I was afraid what my college housemates would say (I lived with six other women).  When I first moved in, my roommate said, “I was so worried that you would be gay and try to crawl into bed with me.”

The first time I was around a majority of LGBTQ people was when the college president of the Outdoors Club introduced me to everyone in the campus Allies group. I never joined Allies.  Instead, I joined rugby, where the captains were extremely homophobic.

I’ve been yelled at on the street, been called, Dyke!”
I normally yell back, Fuck you.”
They’re always safe for them.

There’s one girl that’s been pretty pivotal for me.  We met 5 summers ago at Girl Scout summer camp.  I just sold my first house to move across the country to be with her.
We both wear “committed” rings, even though we’re not married. We might as well be married, because I love her.